Friday, April 3, 2009

You're Mad? Really?

What do you do when someone has an attitude with you? What if you know they have no reason to be upset? My husband has had a slight tude since the situations I described in the previous post. I know I said I was going to talk to him, but I just don't have the energy right now.

I went to the nail salon after work. It was so crowded that I left. I didn't feel like waiting. Thursday is usually the day he hangs out and I look forward to having the time to myself. Unfortunately, he worked the midnight shift the previous night and did a lot of running around, so he decided to stay home. I was kind of pissed when I walked into my bedroom and he was in the bed sleeping.

So, he woke up briefly while I was taking my clothes off and it was apparent he wasn't really feeling me. I know I should have risen above but I just did not feel liek dealing. I said hello, grabbed what I wanted, and went in the living room to watch television. My initial plan was to watch the programs I recorded on the dvr in our bedroom, but Mr. Sunshine was in my space.

I've come a long way and marriage counseling has given me many tools that I can use, but there are still times when I just cannot pay attention to the bull. I couldn't believe he was mad at me and didn't want to feed into it. I had an awesome time on my own doing absolutely nothing.

We wake up about half an hour apart in the morning. Hubby was already up and exercising when I got out of bed. I didn't know what to expect. I could tell he wasn't that happy with me, but he was more than cordial. He tried to play it off, but i'm an expert at reading people. It's all in the eyes. We had nice conversation before he left for work and I went about the business of getting dressed.

It would be great if he would just say what's on his mind and move on. This is something we talked about over and over with our marriage counselor. He was making strides but, slowly but surely, I see him slipping back into old habits. There was a time when I would try to drag things out of him, but this is not one of those times. That is not something I should have to do. After all these years of marriage, and months of marriage counseling, he should be able to tell me when something is wrong.

We will talk about the situation eventually. I know it's petty and that's the exact reason I didn't feel like getting into it. I know my husband and he always makes a big thing out of nothing in an argument. That always takes things to a level where they don't need to be because i'm only going to take so much. I'm in a pretty good place and I refuse to let his attitude bring me down. I will know the right time to ask him what his attitude was about.

For now, i'm worrying about me. I'm will not be putting any extra energy into anyone's petty behavior, and that includes my husband.


Dabizniz said...

Obviously you both are missing the counselling sessions. It takes a while to be able to work things on your own.

My wife and I pray together and for each other. It does help..We have not had a disagreement in a over two weeks and our counsellor is on a three week holiday.

I wish you all the best stay strong till you can see your counsellor. If you can talk about it fine, but not by finger pointing, or blaming it only makes matters worse.

God bless

P.S can you update your blog roll for my blog Thanks

Scorned Woman said...

We haven't had a real argument that sat on us like this since last year. We do miss our counselor, but we should still be able to talk things out in a rational way. I don't have the energy or the inclination to have an irrational discussion.

Lil Honey B said...

You have a great attitude toward the situation, hopefully your hubby will come around.

B-More BAP said...

Great Post. Men usually just work out these feelings after you both have sex anyway. They don't always need to sit and talk it out, more so then do something to allow the negative energy to dissipate.

Keep doing what you are doing. He will come around :)

RocNaija said...

I guess it's fair to say you know your man well enough to know he's bound to come round irrespective of if you speak to him or not..

He's obviously not as obstinate as quite a few that I know..


Scorned Woman said...

We had a brief conversation Friday and relaxed the rest of the weekend. LOL! Men are so funny.

Enkay said...

No fair! I posted a comment yesterday and I only just realized it didn't get published!

Good to know the issue with your husband is all resolved now!

MOMSWEB said...

Girrrrl, I have truly loved my visit to your REALITY Blog. I read more than a few posts and can relate to a few things you mentioned about your husband. I recently posted a few posts about my enrollment into S.O.U.L. (School of Unconditional Love). Loving someone when they are not so lovable takes a whole lot of Jesus (LOL). I also feel you on the hubby has PMS and no one can tell me differently (lol). Blessings to you!