Thursday, February 26, 2009

Trust and other issues


I haven't blogged in a week and I feel kind of bad. Now that things are going so well, I don't seem to have the need to share that I did before. I'm going to do better. Blogging really helped me get through a rough time and i'm going to do my best to continue.

My husband and I have been enjoying each other a lot. Our children definitely notice the closeness. Our oldest son commented on how happy we seem. He's the one who has been there from the start so I know he's very glad we're getting along on such a consistent basis. One of our daughters even told her father it was nice to have him home so much. He had mixed feelings about her comment. On one hand he was glad she noticed, but he also felt bad that she needed to tell him that.

Can this be happening? Am I really this happy? Will it last? That's the real question. I'm trying really hard but it's not easy to let my guard totally down. We haven't been on this roll very long and i'm not the total optimist. I'm doing better, but after so many years of up and down I can't just put all of my faith in him just yet.


I also wonder if I will ever be able to trust my husband they way a wife should. There are still times I second guess the things he tells me. It's going to take me a while. Trust is one of the most important factors of a healthy relationship. The only way he can earn my trust is to do what he's doing now on a consistent basis. I know that he's capable of sustaining his behavior, but does he love me enough? There's a lot of temptation out there. My husband is a very handsome man and, let's face it, a wedding ring is an aphrodisiac to some women.

Years ago, before cell phone service was vastly improved, my husband had a problem with his phone that I didn't tell him about. Somehow, I was able to hear what was going on around him when I called his number. It was crazy! I only heard something worth hearing once. He was at a party talking to a woman and she was throwing herself at him. Surprisingly, he didn't seem to be interested. He told her that he was married and loved his wife. She said she didn't care and that the ring he was showing her was only another piece of jewelry.

What ever happened to honor among women? I once heard a woman say she "dated" married men because there were no strings attached. Huh? What about the woman he's married to? Why don't you care about her? I could not see myself doing that to another female. I'm not putting all the blame on the woman. I'm just saying a little solidarity goes a long way.

Hopefully I won't have to worry about these things things anymore. I pray that things will continue along the road they're currently traveling. I feel like I have my marriage back and will do anything to keep it. As long as my husband does his part, everything will be alright.

7 comments:

thegayte-keeper said...

I LOVE the look and vibe of your blog...your feeling TOTALLY shines here...

Oyin said...

hey...just takes things slow...and enjoy what you have while it last. You only have one life....


hey dont worry about the blogging thingy, Ive too stop blogging as much cos Ive been so busy here lately. We understand......

Dabizniz said...

Trust is something that gets swallowed up when the going is good. I find my self second-guessing once I'm alone and have time to think.

Once you husband keeps up what he is doing and you keep up what you are doing I am told the trust would come back

thegayte-keeper said...

YOU'VE BEEN HONORED...HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMAN'S DAY!!!!!

Lil Honey B said...

Great that your marriage is going great. I loved reading about your journey and all the changes that you are your husband have gone through...but don't leave the blog world!

Crystal Monae said...

Trust is earned and love is action, so the two must coexist to have a healthy relationship. You are a strong woman and very capable of healing your marriage completely with the help of your husband. At the same time don't turn away from the thing(your blog) that aided in your healing. Just change the tone of it to a healthier one. That's just life. An evolution. Love the blog!

rethots said...

...started reading from the beginning 'cos you can't read the very last and make a thot-ful comment.

Anyway, a coin is said to have 2sides (i have my personal reservations on that) but, we always tend to see situations from just the common side.

We infidelity occurs we tend to see the married person (assuming only one is) as the guilty one but, when we hear words like this "she "dated" married men because there were no strings attached." then, we should really begin to get worried 'cos it means the word HONOUR has become almost lost in our society of today.

Let our new watchword be, i will not do it not 'cos am not tempted or even desirous of doing it but, 'cos i HONOUR my spouse.