Thursday, February 26, 2009
Trust and other issues
I haven't blogged in a week and I feel kind of bad. Now that things are going so well, I don't seem to have the need to share that I did before. I'm going to do better. Blogging really helped me get through a rough time and i'm going to do my best to continue.
My husband and I have been enjoying each other a lot. Our children definitely notice the closeness. Our oldest son commented on how happy we seem. He's the one who has been there from the start so I know he's very glad we're getting along on such a consistent basis. One of our daughters even told her father it was nice to have him home so much. He had mixed feelings about her comment. On one hand he was glad she noticed, but he also felt bad that she needed to tell him that.
Can this be happening? Am I really this happy? Will it last? That's the real question. I'm trying really hard but it's not easy to let my guard totally down. We haven't been on this roll very long and i'm not the total optimist. I'm doing better, but after so many years of up and down I can't just put all of my faith in him just yet.
I also wonder if I will ever be able to trust my husband they way a wife should. There are still times I second guess the things he tells me. It's going to take me a while. Trust is one of the most important factors of a healthy relationship. The only way he can earn my trust is to do what he's doing now on a consistent basis. I know that he's capable of sustaining his behavior, but does he love me enough? There's a lot of temptation out there. My husband is a very handsome man and, let's face it, a wedding ring is an aphrodisiac to some women.
Years ago, before cell phone service was vastly improved, my husband had a problem with his phone that I didn't tell him about. Somehow, I was able to hear what was going on around him when I called his number. It was crazy! I only heard something worth hearing once. He was at a party talking to a woman and she was throwing herself at him. Surprisingly, he didn't seem to be interested. He told her that he was married and loved his wife. She said she didn't care and that the ring he was showing her was only another piece of jewelry.
What ever happened to honor among women? I once heard a woman say she "dated" married men because there were no strings attached. Huh? What about the woman he's married to? Why don't you care about her? I could not see myself doing that to another female. I'm not putting all the blame on the woman. I'm just saying a little solidarity goes a long way.
Hopefully I won't have to worry about these things things anymore. I pray that things will continue along the road they're currently traveling. I feel like I have my marriage back and will do anything to keep it. As long as my husband does his part, everything will be alright.