Monday, June 8, 2009

No More Drama!

Well, I gave it a try and it didn't work so now i'm moving on. My marriage is done. I'm not even sad. No one can say I didn't go for it. Forgiveness is an important thing. I'm glad I gave my husband the chance to prove that he could be faithful. It's too bad he couldn't do it.

So, we went to his cousin's birthday party Friday night. We had an absolute blast! Everyone drank and danced the night away. My husband works every Saturday and he has to get up really early in the morning. Around 12:30 he decided he wanted to leave and rushed me and my sister out the door. We weren't ready to leave but neither one of us wanted to take a cab home and he was driving.

My sister and I made our way through the crowd and outside to the car, which was parked in front of the lounge. We stood there and waited for about 10 minutes before I started to get pissed off. I called his cell phone and he said he was looking for his cousin so he could let her know were leaving. After waiting another 15 mintutes I sent my sister inside to see what was going on. I didn't have a hand stamp and didn't want to deal with any drama.

A few minutes later my husband and sister came outside. She had a funny look on her face and he looked upset. I was pissed! How the hell are you going to have me standing outside waiting for you and you come outside with bag full of birthday cake and a scowl?

We dropped my sister off and as soon as we pulled up to our place I jumped out of the car and left him. He barely came to a stop before I got out. I went into our bedroom and locked the door. I really did not want to be bothered with him. To be honest, i'd been feeling funny for a few weeks. I just felt like something wasn't right.

So, anyway, fast forward to Saturday afternoon. My son's fraternity was having a charity brunch and my sisters and I were going to meet up and go together. I was getting dressed when my husband came home. As I was putting my clothes on I got a text from the sister I partied with the night before. She said she needed to talk to me. I already knew it wasn't going to be anything good.

We met before our other sister arrived and she proceeds to tell me that when she went back inside she saw my husband trying to holla at one of his cousin's friends. I honestly felt like falling over. I was in shock. Yes, he has cheated but I didn't think he would stoop that low.

When my sister saw him she asked him what the fuck he was doing and he said he was getting cake. While he had his back turned his cousin's friend put her hands in the air and mouthed, "What the hell is wrong with him?" My sister felt so uncomfortable and angry. She knows about some of the things my husband has done and was disappointed when I decided to try counseling and give him another chance.

We went to my son's fraternity event and had a good time. I tried not to think of the slime ball I was going to divorce. My sister's kept asking me if I was okay and even though I knew they meant well it was getting on my nerves. All I knew was I could not go home. I kept having visions of stabbing the slimeball in his sleep and he's definitely not worth me doing jail time.

I went home with my sister. She was going to spend some time at her boyfriend's house but I stayed the night. I am definitely capable of extreme violence, especially when my intelligence is being insulted or i'm being disrespected. I knew something would happen if I went home and my children were home. I called and let them know that I would not be coming home. Their father called me back and asked why I was staying at my sister's house and I told him that I would stab him in his sleep if I came home.

He was shocked and wanted to know why I would say something like that and I told him. Of course he denied doing anything. I forgot to say that I spoke to the female and people who were in the area and I know that he did it. There's not question in my mind. I'm not going to go back and forth with it. I am done. He got all indignant and said he did no such thing and hung up on me because he didn't want to hear "that mess." It didn't matte to me one way or another because my decision was already made and nothing he said was going to change my mind.

I also found out that he tried to get with the same female at the New Years Eve party we attended. There's no way i'm going to be with someone like this. I can only imagine what else he has done.

The funny thing is, i'm not hurt. I don't feel anywhere near as bad as I thought I would. I need to stay the course and keep improving. He's not going to hold me back. I gave him the chance to improve and he blew it. I'll always love him and wish him the best, but our time together has come to the end. I asked him to move out but he refused. I don't know how it's going to work out but in my mind we are not together. I'm about to spread my wings and get my life on.


the YOUNG LIONESS said...

You are a blessed women for your strength and determination to move in a positive direction in this time. Thank you for reminding us all to keep love for God and love for ourselves first

thegayte-keeper said...


Scorned Woman said...

Lioness - Thank you. I'm trying to stay positive.

Gayte - I definitely think I knew it was going to happen. When we started therapy I made it clear that no more chances were going to be given. I thought I would catch a charge too but thankfully I did a lot of praying and stayed at my sister's house until I was in a good state of mind. I definitely planned the murder in my head. I gave him a shot so I don't feel bad at all. I'm looking forward to what life has in store for me. He's the one who is going to suffer. He lost the best thing that ever happened to him.

Scorned Woman said...

Lioness - Love the pic. You look beautiful!

Kingsmomma said...

I really was rooting for you guys but sometimes it isn't meant to be and you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. I'm glad that you aren't focusing on his errors more than you are focusing on yuorself and your own growth. This is a journey and while it may hurt and be confusing you will emerge teh better because of it.

Just know that not all men are like your ex husband.

Congratulations on the shedding of the extra baggage and drama.

juiceegal said...

I admire u for trying to make it work...nobody can say u did not try.
I wish u all the best.Lots of love

Oyin said...

GOOOOOOOOOODDAMMIT are really something else. That goes to show the ish I put on my blog certainly matches with this posting of yours. Why is it that men feel the need to cheat.....WWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYY!!

Men are so selfish. I was getting so happy for you and him getting along just fine. O well girl if you gonna let it go then do what you feel is best for you....and the kids. Right now he is not worried about your happiness or feelings so why worry about his. Dont catch a record for his a$$ just keep it moving just like you said and maybe move into the home with your sister until you are able to get out and get an apartment on your own. GO file for your limited divorce through the courts, file child support. If you two have no personal property that you want to divide...then dont even waste your money on an attorney. You can file your own paperwork...ok. We can talk if you want me to assist you on this issue.


Sunshinelovespeace said...

I am really shocked to read this, it truly seemed like things were gonna work out for you two.

But I am happy to read that you are not afraid to move forward. That is the most important thing now. I wish you peace and continued strength.

Keith said...

I am soooo sorry to hear this..I was so pulling for you.

Scorned Woman said...

Kingsmomma - I have definitely learned a lot while on this journey. When I said it was the last time I meant it and I am more than ready to move on.

juiceegal - I guess that's why I don't feel sad. I gave it a try and it didn't work out and I feel more than prepared to move on.

Oyin - LOL! I'm trying not to blame every male for the actions of the one I married. I guess it was something we had to go through to get to our blessings. They're the ones losing out.

Sunshine - I thought it was going to work too. He had us both fooled. I guess some people just aren't capable of being faithful. I've focused on his mess for so long that I have no problem thinking only of me and how I can grow from this experience.

Keith - Thanks, I was pulling too.

The one wonderful thing I got out of my marriage was my beautiful children. I don't regret anything I have done. I know that I am a good woman and I definitely deserve better. It's time to move on.

Lil Honey B said...

I am sorry to hear this news, but glad that you have gained the stength to move on and not be a doormat. You did your best, and nothing but blessings will be in your future...

Nice Anon said...

There is this philosophy that i have about life. Try your best in all you do and if it doesn't work then you can look back and say I did try it.
I do read your blog and i thought things were going to get better.

Mehn, nothing in life is guaranteed.

doll said...

Sad to hear this…happy re-forging ahead

n0days0ff said...

that is so sad.i was shocked.i thought i was coming here to read up on how yall were getting back close and now this. thats really heartbreaking

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