Thursday, March 26, 2009
Gotta Get Out
I've used up so much energy caring for my children and stressing what my husband was doing that I lost my life. I didn't go out much and most of my friends have moved on. They have wonderful social lives and i'm looking around wondering what happened to mine.
Now that my marriage seems to be getting back on track and my children are doing great, i'm longing for things to do and places to go. I don't have as many friends as I once had and the ones I do have are always busy when I want to do something. I need to get out and find a life! I guess it's time for me to make some new friends. How? Where?
I don't remember the last time I went out and wasn't with my husband. We always have a good time, but I need girl's time. There was a time when I had girl's night out every Friday. That was years ago. My best friend moved a few towns away and her job is extremely demanding. I really miss her. At one time I became depressed over the state of my marriage and stopped reaching out to her. I didn't want to be that friend who's complaining about her man every time you speak to her.
The thing is, she stopped calling. I have helped her through a lot of situations. There was a time when I felt like Dear Abby because all I was doing was giving her advice. In a way, it felt like she deserted me when I needed her most. I know I said I didn't want to be that complaining friend, but what's her excuse? I really miss my friend. We email each other from time to time, but I haven't seen her in a year.
I'm tired of going home after work each and every day. My life is getting a bit dull. I might have to start off by doing a movie or museum by myself and go from there. My husband was able to live a full life and I was too busy being a parent to think as much about being in the street. It's my street time now. I need to find myself again. The me that I am got lost in the man that my husband wasn't. I was way too preoccupied with his stuff to pay any attention to mine.
I need to get out of this social rut. Some of my co-workers were talking about going out for drinks after work one day and i'm going to make it happen. If my husband and I can work through all of our drama, I know I can get back the part of my life that I let get away. He had his time and now it's mine.