Thursday, March 19, 2009
Whirlwind of Emotion
That's the word I would use to describe my home life.
Is a word I would have used in the past.
The warm feeling inside that I get when I catch my husband smiling at me.
The way I felt when he was cheating.
The way I feel after making love to my husband.
How I felt after having sex with a man who was sleeping with other women
The way I feel about my current situation
How I would have been if you met me about a year ago
What I say I am when people ask how i'm doing
What I thought my marriage once was
I have gone through so many different emotions in the past couple of years that I didn't know where to turn or what to do at times. I have learned that struggle really helps you appreciate the good times. I feel like i've been to hell and back with my husband. He wasn't always the best man, but he was the man I loved. Through all that he put me through, my love stayed constant. I think that's why I held on. I had a feeling that things would get better one day because I knew the real man that was buried inside of the boy who was running around playing childish games. There were times when I felt like a fool, but now i'm glad I held on. I am happier than I have been in a long time and i'm actually learning to trust my husband. It feels great!