Thursday, March 19, 2009

Whirlwind of Emotion


Cozy

That's the word I would use to describe my home life.

Chaotic

Is a word I would have used in the past.

Loved

The warm feeling inside that I get when I catch my husband smiling at me.

Unwanted

The way I felt when he was cheating.

Satisfied

The way I feel after making love to my husband.

Dirty

How I felt after having sex with a man who was sleeping with other women

Relieved

The way I feel about my current situation

Stressed

How I would have been if you met me about a year ago

Blessed

What I say I am when people ask how i'm doing

Cursed

What I thought my marriage once was



I have gone through so many different emotions in the past couple of years that I didn't know where to turn or what to do at times. I have learned that struggle really helps you appreciate the good times. I feel like i've been to hell and back with my husband. He wasn't always the best man, but he was the man I loved. Through all that he put me through, my love stayed constant. I think that's why I held on. I had a feeling that things would get better one day because I knew the real man that was buried inside of the boy who was running around playing childish games. There were times when I felt like a fool, but now i'm glad I held on. I am happier than I have been in a long time and i'm actually learning to trust my husband. It feels great!

5 comments:

Tigeress said...

It's really nice of you to share ur experience. A lot of singles have this fairy tale misconception about marriage. But the reality is that- marriage is hard and challenging. But with ur case it goes to show that it if both parties are willing- it is very possible to work it out.

Make sure u get the book i recommended. :)

Scorned Woman said...

Thanks for reminding me about the book. I'm definitely going to check it out.

I agree that a lot of people don't realize how much work marriage can be. It's all about compromise, communication, and trust.

I really do hope that my experiences help someone else. That's part of the reason I started the blog. It has also helped me work through a lot of things.

thegayte-keeper said...

when you know something to be true don't ever run away from it...you are a testament for all to see...

Oyin said...

this is soooo really really nice. I be so glad when I have a complete family....


you go girllllllllllll

rethots said...

One thing that has fascinated me through these readings (which is also a constant) is "He wasn't always the best man, but he was the man I loved. Through all that he put me through, my love stayed constant."

'tis funny but, with time i have come to realise (oops, decide) that love (in order to get married) is a conscious decision. A decision which if we continually honour, will with time deepen 'love' in a relationship.

Always say, love grows, however, its growth and depth is a function of how much we CONSCIOUSLY sow into it.