Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Wow! There's so much to say. My husband and I left for our "weekend" trip Friday, January 16th and we didn't come back until Sunday the 25th! We had a wonderful time. We were enjoying each other's company so much that we couldn't leave. It's one of the best times I have ever had. We reconnected on so many levels. I feel like a totally new woman and wife.
We finally made love and it was wonderful. The first time was the best. It was like we were one again. When I climaxed, I was releasing so much. I felt like I was letting go all the drama, all the pain, all the bad things. It was so overwhelming that I started to cry. My husband understood immediately and held me in his arms until we both fell asleep. I get chills just thinking about the way I felt.
It was cold where we went, but we still found the time to party and have fun. We met some nice people and every time we mentioned that it was our 25th anniversary they felt the need to get us drunk. We went to the hotel bar the first night to get a shot before we hit the cold air and never left. The people at the bar wouldn't allow us to buy anything! They fed us and made sure our glasses were never empty. Needless to say, we had a lot of fun that night.
I haven't felt as close to my husband as I did while we were gone in a very long time. It was nice not to have any distractions. Our children didn't even bother us. I think they knew that we needed that time together. Of course we called to check on them, but they would always say, "Don't worry about us." When I talked to my oldest son, I could tell he was happy that we were spending time alone. He even commented on how happy I sounded.
We were doing all the little things we forgot about like holding hands and kissing in public. I felt like I was floating on a cloud. I'm so happy he surprised me with this trip. It showed me how much he is trying. We had a long talk in our hotel room one night about some of the things that have happened between us and his words felt so genuine. I've spent a lot of years knowing that the words that were coming out of his mouth were just what he thought I wanted to hear. It was wonderful to be able to listen and know that the thought and the intent was real.
I'm actually happy. It's been a very long time since I felt like my future was bright. We both shed a few tears when we left because the time we spent together was so special. It's not something that can be duplicated. It's something that will go down in our history as ours, a time that we can look back on and smile to one another.
I now truly feel that we have started over. I know things will not be perfect, but i'm optimistic. I enjoy making love to my husband again. The past did not enter my mind once. I let go and allowed myself to be present and open.
I'm in love again!